U-Know?

First it was the frenzy about the iPhone-3G, that even my students who’d probably had just gotten their first period/half an inch of stubble for the boys are already gasping, yearning ownership. Yesterday and today, the twit world yak non-stop about iPad.

Ok. I have a confession to make. If by comparison to these people around me who are scampering to get their i-“Things”, I must be living in the dinosaur age, truth be spoken.

I still write in a planner made from paper, with the black cover and dates printed in squares. On the cover it says ‘Executive Planner’ colored gold. On the inside it has the calendar, dates of holidays here, Metric Conversion Table, LRT line maps, planning charts and each day of the year comes in a square where I can fill in my to-do list/appointments etc. For holidays and Sundays, the squares are colored pink. That costs me Rm8 from the neighborhood stationery shop.

Let’s talk about my phone. There’s no ‘i’ to it. Nor was it named after a fruit which I like to make muffins with. After a heart-wrenching episode where my multi-function SonyEricsson was stolen in the surau at MidValleyMegaMall, I was resolved not to get any phones that can possibly tempt any more thieves. On that same day, I got a simple Nokia, which can only text and call. It does not even have a colored screen. Basically the kind of phones employers give to their maids. I saw a few 6-7 year olds using more sophisticated phones than I do and my 9 year old student even squarely pointed out that my phone is ‘old fashion’. I paid Rm 119 for it, from the same DigiShop I went to right after I realised my SonyEricsson was stolen, almost in tears as it was a birthday present from the husband and it was merely 4 weeks old.

Do I feel inadequate without the gadgets all the people around me are competing for? Am I missing out on anything? Sometimes I wonder as well. Without an iPhone and iPad or a Blackberry, am I not in the loop of things? Do I miss appointments, get lagged behind the world who are always connected to the cyberspace and in the know of what is the latest? Hmm. Let’s see if I can find the answers to my own questions here.

Am I missing out on anything?

Well, I am on twitter and facebook and when I am at my desktop (yes, I am using a HP desktop, not a slim multi-colored laptop OR an iPad). I can get access to all of the world’s newspapers and the news junkie that I am, I have several tabs of them every morning from JakartaPost to HeraldTribute to NewsAU and even EarthTimes. So if I am missing on anything, it would be on the days I have a bad internet connection/can’t be bothered to switch on anything/sick. Other than that, I am very much abreast with the current affairs of the world, lack of gadgets notwithstanding. So the answer to that has to be, no I am not missing on anything.

Do I miss appointments or can’t secure meetings etc because I do not own a state of the art gadget to remind me in a sophisticated app?

Not that I know of. I used the same kind of planner late last year. With it, I’ve met clients for translation contract worth 5-figure amount for our newly formed translation firm and never missed any appointments so far. And clinched the deals I did, Rm 8 planner et al. With it, I have met many, many deadlines and even squeezed in many lesson plans for students. My students excelled, my deadlines met and my schedule ran its course. And so, my Rm 8 planner has served me well.

So do I really need all these latest gadgets? At the moment, no. In the future, maybe.

The lack of it has worked to my benefit actually. When I am out, I don’t get distracted by the chats and social networking and I don’t read emails on work. I am able to enjoy what I go out for i.e meeting friends, shopping for books, teas and lunches– without having a friend/friends in front of me but my eyes on the blackberry/iPhone. That is such an annoying anti-social behavior, I find.

Without it, I am able to carry out genuine conversations over the lunch/dinner table outside or at home, without constantly being drawn to look at the small screen for ‘updates’. It gives me the ‘there is a time for everything’ without being sucked into having to accept work while I am spending quality time with friends, my other half, films or other things I enjoy. If anyone needs to contact me, I am just an sms or a phone call away, which unless it is urgent, they will definitely get the ‘I will get back to you later’ response from me. If someone I am waiting for is late or I am passing time to get to the next activity, I read.

Having said all that, I know that what I don’t have, I won’t miss. I am not sure if in the future I find myself in a circumstance where I need to own these gadgets, I would not be able to live without them. Till then, my life proceeds (and with better efficiency than iGadgets/Blackberry owners too if I may humbly add :P) well and wonderfully without them. So for now, I shall remain… you know….. i”Kuno”.

Truly, I cannot stand Meredith.

What do I get, really, from watching Grey’s Anatomy back to back on the dvd? Vegged out on the couch with pringles and sometimes mars bars, do I really gain anything from watching a group of loony, sex crazy group of surgeons which ranges from desperate interns to a lesbian couple to the hospital chief with issues? Other than pimples and a wider waistline, no thanks to the pringles and chocolate bars, did I learn anything else?

Actually I do.

I learnt quite a bit of medical terms. There’s a situation of Addison’s brother getting parasites in the brain called ‘neurocysticercosis‘. That’s a bit mouthful, but now after I’ve googled the term, I read that parasites can go into your brains and in laymen’s term they are called brain worms. I also learnt what’s orthopedic, ophthalmology and podiatry. Well, they appear too many times in the dialog and my itchy fingers can’t help googling to find out their meanings. Before this, a hospital is just a hospital and a doctor is just a doctor. And an operation means a doctor will cut you in a hospital. Keep it simple, aye?

There are a thing or two I learnt from the Christina Yang character. She’s focused, driven and able to draw the line between emotions and professionalism. She works really hard, typical of an East-Asian personality and would not stop short at being good. She insist on being great. That’s something I can learn from, about not resting my laurels even if I’ve achieved something I set out to achieve.

My favorite quote from her, ” Good? I don’t wanna be good. I want to be great!!”

The other character I like is Miranda Bailey. She reminds me of my friend here. Small, assertive, aggressive but with a good heart and very efficient. And I like her punch lines and had this character been a teacher, she would be perfect as the discipline mistress.

From her, I learnt that there’s time to be everything. There’s a time to be assertive, there’s a time to bend the rules, there’s a time to be strict and there’s a time to be compassionate. There are also times when one has to crush one’s ego and listen to his/her students (like she did with her interns) because one will never be the ‘know-it-all’.

And so.

Wait a minute. It’s almost midnight and what am I doing writing about what I learnt from watching a tv series? That’s like primary school composition. It’s guilt I tell ya. I’ve spent way too much time in front of the telly the last few days, one dvd after another. Like a cocaine addict getting his fix.

p.s About the title, truly, I really cannot stand the Meredith Grey character. The one the series is named after. But that deserves another entry altogether, for a woman with that much issues. And I love the Mark Sloan-Callie Torres friendship. So unlike but so real.

The Black Hat

First it was the scene I was watching on Grey’s Anatomy where Dr Hahn refused to do an inoperable tumor surgery onto a ten year old, against the decision of the hospital team. The team, then led by my favorite character Dr Bailey, went on with the surgery anyway.

Throughout it all, Dr Hahn was very critical with just every step they took, and every suggestion the team members gave, she gunned them down with all the impossibilities and the ‘no it cannot work’ response. Exasperated, Bailey barked back with ‘ You’ve been gunning down all our ideas, since you are so smart why don’t you give us suggestions on what to do instead of criticizing all that we have tried to do?!’

Fast forward, some hours later. At the kopitiam, post training. The team of us was having a post dinner meeting. The dojo gang is the organizing committee for the upcoming aikido.seminar in March. We had come as far as putting the respective people into the respective roles- chairperson, treasurer, programs, promotions and logistics etc. Then it came down to planning the week-long program right from scratch. And then…someone in the team did exactly like what Dr Hahn did. She gunned down just about every single thing others said. Every single suggestion was met by critical ‘no it can’t happen, it won’t’ response. All things negative on why this and that cant and won’t work etc, without her giving any solution to how it can work.

To put it simply, I was irritated. But I kept my mouth shut, although seething that the meeting was going no where, wasting precious time. It was midnight and all I wanted to do was to go back and back to my Grey’s Anatomy dvd, dammit.

Then somehow, I remembered EdwardDeBono and his 6 Thinking Hats system.

And obviously, this missy in our team was wearing a big black hat that night. She was basically manifesting what, in the 6 Thinking Hat System describes as

Black hat – Critical Judgment

Participants identify barriers, hazards, risks and other negative connotations. This is critical thinking, looking for problems and mismatches. This hat is usually natural for people to use, the issues with it are that people will tend to use it when it is not requested and when it is not appropriate, thus stopping the flow of others. Preventing inappropriate use of the black hat is a common obstacle and vital step to effective group thinking.

My mister, who was just as irritated but because of his nature/upbringing, squarely but sternly pointed out to our missy that she was making it impossible for the meeting to proceed if she kept gunning things down without offering feasible solutions. That kind of mellowed her down a bit, but I was not sure if  it was because she was a bit apprehensive of being told off upfront like that, which not many Asians can take (and when my man is stern, my man IS stern–big eyes et al)…OR she realised the fact that she was slowing down the meeting. Either way, she mellowed but no, she didn’t stop this annoying thing she was doing.

Whatever it is, the point is, in all projects or in every effort which requires team work, there is bound to be somebody who will be wearing that big, ugly (i’m not biased, just pissed that I couldn’t get back to my dvd last night, heh) black hat. How can we deal with such people? Yank the black hats off them? Point out this annoying trait to them in a straightforward manner? Ignore them?

Now that I’ve had a great Saturday and calmer when reflecting upon last night’s incident, I realized that actually, our missy with the black hat did come up with many valid concerns, only at the wrong time i.e during the brainstorming session. Hence, her weakness was that her critical thinking hat was used at the wrong time, instead of at the time when the team could use her critical thinking as tool to check on our blind spots.

I’ve learnt two things from this incident. Firstly, as much as people who wear black hats into meetings are a tad (or extremely annoying, IF you have Grey’s Anatomy waiting at home), we do need them, provided at the right time – to be asking the right questions to have our blind spots covered and leaving no stones unturned. This will lead us to being more well-prepared with all contingency plans during the execution of the plans and following through the project.

Secondly, I learnt that many stupid, reckless mistakes can be avoided if we wear black hats from time to time during decision making processes (but it has to be after the brainstorming session) and that black hats are most effective if based upon past experiences and not just  empty nay say.

It’s a good thing I didn’t snap at our missy with the black hat that night. It would have caused me to have a bad weekend. And I’m not sure what coloured hat I was wearing today, probably none at all because we simply vegged out on the sofa after we came back from SolarisMontKiara and popping pringles and watching episode after episode of Grey’s Anatomy. That doesn’t require much thinking, does it?

Here she comes, walking down the street

We just came back from supper at Backofen, a halal German bistro cum bakery at Desa Sri Hartamas. Our first time there, given the tip off by others who had been there. So after running the errands for the orphanage project and then maghrib at Senah’s place, the husband really had in his mind that we were going to Backofen since it was  just around the corner.

And so we had the lovely baked cheesecake German style and the lime pie, both of which were given two thumbs up by the husband, which means they were good. I found them to be really good in fact. A hot chocolate and a cappuccino later, we drove home, not anticipating anything other than that I can go back to season 5 of Grey’s Anatomy dvds.

Once we reached the gate, I got out to unlock it and that was when I heard the ever familiar voice screaming meowing for attention. That was not Milo, but can it be…nah. Cannot be. Probably one of Milo’s friends. And so I thought. So I ignored it and then it got more intense, louder and more distinctively familiar. By then I was frantically searching high and low around the compound because I was dead sure I KNOW that voice. How can I ever forget it???

I followed it towards the house across the street and realized that it came from under our neighbour’s car. I bent down and I thought I’ve just seen a ghost. There she was, Tito, who had been missing for more 3 whole weeks!!!

We have already put it in our head that she had died and not coming back (more for us to really get on and let go, in other words-redha) and there she was, underneath the neighbour’s car, screaming frantically, thin, frail but yet still very clean (she’s very meticulous with cleanliness, hence it was the biggest irony that the fleas got onto her first instead of her scraggly brother Milo).

Strangely enough, I felt extreme mixtures of happiness and anger. I had wanted to spank her there and then but also hug and kiss her at the same time. I’m actually angry for what she put us through the last 3 weeks–my sleepless nights, us combing the neighborhood looking for her, going from street to street and finally convincing ourselves that she is finally gone- something which was not easy to do, given our relationship with her. And here she is, back and strutting around the house now like a diva as I am typing this down.

Perhaps, had it not been for the lovely supper earlier at Backofen, I would have really spanked her. But it’s amazing what sugar rush from lovely desserts can do to one’s level of compassion. So Tito, have a good rest, I will spank you tomorrow. You deserve it and you of all other beings should know, I don’t give faces to nonsense and I am fierce like that.

Heh.

( Ohhh come here my cutie cutie Tito. I miss you shooo much!)

Just do it, lah.

With my grocery bags and purse in hand, I stood in front of the Metro Driving School near our place and continued standing there for a moment. I could feel the palpitation building, slowly but surely. I tried to force myself to take a step in but it didn’t happen. Alas, I gave up and walked away.

That was this morning.

There is a list of phobia listed in the phobia index of most psychological association. Some are as absurd as ‘ablutophobia’ i.e the phobia of washing or bathing (I would rather call it the SKS- ‘Severe Kopet Syndrome’), or the phobia of hair which is called ‘Chaetophobia’ or Gallophobia— the fear of France or French culture (!?!?!?! seriously?). The list is long but I cannot find mine– the phobia of driving.

I told myself that this will be the year that phobia will soon end. Because simply, I am beginning to feel that I really need to drive here because of my involvement in some projects. I’m also training 3 times a week now for aikido and sometimes with the husband stuck at the office and the cab company being a super b*t*h, I miss training just like that. I am also running my own translation firm on my own here with my partner doing it in Singapore and I need to meet clients to get projects and send/collect invoices. Most importantly, calling for cabs here can sometimes be a very ‘cekik darah‘ experience. All those factors make driving a very crucial and time saving asset– which I don’t have.

Maybe tomorrow I should stand outside the driving school longer by ten minutes. And on Thursday another ten minutes more. That will have to go on and on until I finally have the courage to walk in.

Below basics

I was munching the nasi goreng belacan, teh tarik by the side and TheStar newspaper right in front of me at the eatery yesterday morning, with the news of the Haiti quake sprawling in visibility. While it did tug at the heartstrings that here I am, munching yummy nasi goreng for breakfast and frothy teh tarik– in comfort, while this people are homeless and half a million more are unaccountable for, I cannot help but remember the most recent encounter, very much more closer to home and equally,( if not more) heart-wrenching.

The previous Wednesday, my mate here, ‘Senah‘ alerted me to the new orphanage that has just opened a few doors away from her house. We both decided to check it out and since it is newly opened, we wanted to see if we could help with anything at all.

Everything in there is below basic, at least based on my own childhood. Since the orphanage is new, furnitures are much to be yearned for. The kids in there, about 12 of them and a single mother whom the home rescued, sleep on just ‘tikar’. The only visible furniture in the corner lot terrace is the sofa on which we sat on. The children prayed on just cloth, there are no carpets, no cupboards. Basically, that was all that they have–other than themselves and the wardens. The single mother in there has been given a project i.e to sell kuih outside the home.

Ok, here’s the deal. My childhood was not in the lap of luxury, and so I thought. BUT, being there on Wednesday and to see what I saw, I must concur that my childhood is by and large far more luxurious than what I saw. I never once had to sleep on thin mat and even had my own beds throughout my life. Books were and still are aplenty for me and easy access to education churned me out to be who I am today. I had good meals, parents and a large extended family. Things which these kids whom we saw could only dream of.

I can’t write about this anymore. If anyone reading about this wants to go and see the orphanage for yourself and see what you can contribute and help out with ( they need basic furnitures and most importantly, mattresses, pinggan mangkuk, sejadah, carpets, cupboards AND A WHITEBOARD), kindly email me at percicilan at g mail dot com and I will furnish you with the address of the orphanage, the warden’s phone numbers and name.

As the prophet Muhammad peace be upon him said:

أنا وكافلُ اليَـتيمِ في الجَنَّةِ هكذا (وأشار بإصبعيه السبابة والوسطى)

I And The Person Who Brings Up An Orphan Will Be Like This In Heavens;  And He Put His Index And Middle Finger Together.

Bukhari

Come, let’s give them a hand shall we?

Exactly a week

Today marks the 7th day Tito had gone missing.
I wonder how she is.
Is she keeping well?
Is she being fed?
Is she taken care of?
Alas,
Is she even alive still in the first place?

Listen, child

At some point or another, we all hate to admit this. But the truth is, more often than not, parents are always right — well, eventually. It could be that they have what the Malays say ‘dah lebih banyak makan garam’ ( have eaten more salt i.e the metaphor of having gone through life more than their children) or that they simply have the parental instincts of what it may lead to if their children make wrong choices. It may also perhaps due to wisdom which comes with age and experience, something which they have accumulated over the years in bringing us up.

But whatever it is, many times, we hear stories of how children who decided against their parents decisions eventually, in one way or the other had to face the ‘I told you so’ humble pie splattered upon their faces.

That was the central theme in my first Iranian film for the year, Heiran.

Image taken from Tehrantimes.com

As in with any classic forbidden love story, Heiran zooms into the forbidden relationship between the top student  in the rural area somewhere in Iran, Mahi–whose path towards university education came to quite a sudden halt when she met Heiran on her bus rides home from school. Mahi’s destiny, in accordance to her parent’s hope was to complete college, since she was so bright and a top student. However, Heiran came into the picture during the bus rides home– Mahi from college to her village, Heiran from the town to the factory he was working in.

Well, nothing would be as bad if not for the fact that Heiran was an immigrant from Afghanistan. Although he came under the student visa to study in a university in Tehran, he had to work his days off as an illegal factory worker. Mahi’s father was of course livid at their relationship because he feared firstly, his daughter would abandon hers and their dreams of seeing her through university, she would get married to an immigrant whose status in Iran is not even recognized and he feared him getting deported and his only daughter would either be left all alone to fend for herself or brought back into war torn Afghanistan.

But as Mahi’s grandfather said, when two young people are in love, whoever in this world can stop them?

Mahi went on to marry Heiran in Tehran anyway, made possible by her grandfather’s help.  And she got pregnant, Heiran lost his student visa due to inability to pay the university fees, which he used to get married and secured themselves a rental, did odd jobs illegally and one day he just disappeared along with many Afghan immigrants.

Mahi, stuck with a baby and on her own,  then had that moment where suddenly, all that her parents (especially her father) had warned her about came unfolding right before her eyes. And the story ended with her braving to uphold her dignity over the decision she made by looking for Heiran all over, only to see him in the bus which was bringing all the deported immigrants back to Afghanistan. It was a heart wrenching ending to the film where she ran after the bus with her baby in her arms, and probably, her father’s ‘I TOLD YOU SO’ ringing at the back of her head.

So far…

It seems just like yesterday we were watching the fireworks on the rooftop of our friend’s condo apartment, followed by the Taiping trip to usher in 2010. And what do we know, it is already on the 11th day of the new calendar. Like where have the last 11 days been?

Oh that’s right, we’ve spent 3 wonderful days up north, a total of a day in IPOH and the other two days in Taiping. While we were there, I did fantasize about staying there. It is cool– as in nature is in abundance, the food is dirt cheap and yummy and I simply love the idea of living in the valley surrounded by hills. We stayed at a brand new hotel- The Flemington, clean and modern with chic interior design for the weekend rate of Rm 148 inclusive of breakfast. The best thing is, the hotel is right smack in front of Lake Gardens, the beautiful place for a morning misty jog (brisk walk for me) and minutes away from the quaint and rustic Taiping old town where it is like being back in the distant past, with everything old ‘pesen’ just the way I love it.

If you go to Taiping and you do not have their mee udang, consider you have NOT been to Taiping. The home of the mee udang is in Kuala Sepetang where it is actually the kampung leading to the sea and every other kampung folk claiming to be selling the best mee udang. And the mee udang is not just any mee udang mind you, the udangs were so huge and fresh from the pond that when they served the steaming bowls of mee udang, you would be forgiven if you think they are just serving you sup udang. There were about 6 huge udangs on top of the mee, and you have to ‘selak’ the udangs to see the mee.

Although we went to the supposedly famous Mak Jah Mee Udang at Kuala Sepetang, I would have to say that the mee udang we had at ‘ warung Prince Edward was way nicer, well… because for me it was spicier hence it gave the ‘kick’ that I needed. And also, if you are in Taiping, you still HAVE not been in Taiping if you do not taste the Ansari Chendol, the stall that has existed since 1940 and generations of this mamak family, the Ansaris sons have taken it in their pride and stride to follow on the tradition of selling the best chendol we have ever tasted. Their self-made family recipe chendol melts in your mouth, not too sweet and a bowl of chendol special with everything in it including pulut, sweet corn, red beans etc is a mere Rm 1.50.

Back from Taiping, life for the year began. Inspired by ex-Taipingnite, Kak Siti of FunnyAccent who still runs almost daily and she is 2 decades older than myself, I decided to take the baby steps to make this year a healthier year with some form of an exercise commitment. Hence I would follow the husband to work where he would drop me off at the park near our place very early in the morning. I would then brisk walk for about 4 rounds in each trip and then walk back home. I’ve done this for 6 days already since coming back from Taiping and I feel great! Firstly, it forces me not to go back to sleep after seeing the husband off for work, secondly, nothing beats the morning dosage of free fresh oxygen from the trees and the smell of the morning dew.

It is only the 11th day and there are a few misses to the new year already. I was infected by this scabies like illness from the cat fleas which landed me a day in Damansara Specialist Hospital. It made my legs and some parts of my body disgustingly scarred. I got it from Tito who was infected by the fleas first. She then went missing mysteriously, after I sorrowfully told her ‘ You know Tito, I got it all from you tau.. Tsk Tsk’, and what do I know, she went missing since Wednesday night which had me crying myself to sleep each time I think of her. Her brother Milo, didn’t come back for days and each time he comes back, he would be yelling all over the house looking for her. And she is still missing. 😦

Although the hospital has cleared me of all infections, the scars remained to remind me of Tito, and also that they are just scars on my legs. It forces me to remember that there are others who do not have the luxury of having even legs to be enjoying what I have enjoyed i.e morning walks in the park, aikido, ability to walk everywhere etc. And for that I have to be thankful.

I am currently reading two books concurrently, Have a Little Faith by Mitch Albom and The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown. I’ve read all of Albom’s book beginning with Tuesdays with Morris and this would be the last one of his work, I think. Now is the apt time to be reading Have a Little Faith, a comparative religious genre, although the book is about his ( Mitch’s ) journey writing a eulogy for his Rabbi–in lieu of the recent happenings here where religious issues are concerned.

The second one, The Lost Symbol is a bit weak compared to the previous ones, probably I am getting tired of Robert Langdon, although the theme of Noetic Science is an interesting issue for me the way it discusses the middle path between mysticism and traditional sciences (which are now called alternative healing, for whatever reasons) and modern technological advancement. But again, like I said, I am a bit tired of Langdon so unlike the rest of Dan Brown books, I have not gobbled it up within 4 days like I always do.

So much has happened in just 11 days. I wonder what the rest of the year has in store for us?

All things vintage

We are in Taiping for a short holiday over the long weekend. And the long and short of it is that, we don’t have any cameras with us- our trusty Oly is still kaput and we have not gotten around to get a new one. And there goes photography on all things quaint and vintage.

We were here a couple of years ago as one of the pit stops of our around the peninsular road trip and my memories of it has always been about superbly awesome food at dirt cheap prices, super friendly people with funny accents (loghat utara) and the serene Lake Garden where the Sepi film was set. And of course, the Night Safari which I didn’t quite enjoy-but that’s bias because I’m from SG and the Night Safari there is awesome.

This time round, all that we have managed to do is fill in the gastronomical void. Granted that we only reached here in the evening yesterday. We had a whole table of food at PrinceEdwardCafe for like Rm 12.50!!???

I couldn’t help but exclaimed and was told by the mister to shut up, otherwise the next time we come, they would charge us more. 2 years ago, at the same cafe, glutton foodie me also ordered a tableful of food and we paid a mere Rm 11.80.

Alahai…