With my grocery bags and purse in hand, I stood in front of the Metro Driving School near our place and continued standing there for a moment. I could feel the palpitation building, slowly but surely. I tried to force myself to take a step in but it didn’t happen. Alas, I gave up and walked away.
That was this morning.
There is a list of phobia listed in the phobia index of most psychological association. Some are as absurd as ‘ablutophobia’ i.e the phobia of washing or bathing (I would rather call it the SKS- ‘Severe Kopet Syndrome’), or the phobia of hair which is called ‘Chaetophobia’ or Gallophobia— the fear of France or French culture (!?!?!?! seriously?). The list is long but I cannot find mine– the phobia of driving.
I told myself that this will be the year that phobia will soon end. Because simply, I am beginning to feel that I really need to drive here because of my involvement in some projects. I’m also training 3 times a week now for aikido and sometimes with the husband stuck at the office and the cab company being a super b*t*h, I miss training just like that. I am also running my own translation firm on my own here with my partner doing it in Singapore and I need to meet clients to get projects and send/collect invoices. Most importantly, calling for cabs here can sometimes be a very ‘cekik darah‘ experience. All those factors make driving a very crucial and time saving asset– which I don’t have.
Maybe tomorrow I should stand outside the driving school longer by ten minutes. And on Thursday another ten minutes more. That will have to go on and on until I finally have the courage to walk in.