I laughed till I cried…
I laughed till I cried…
Last night, I thought I heard the tyres of a lorry exploded or something. I ignored and chose to carry on with whatever I was doing, mainly reading Eric Weiner’s Geography of Bliss, in bliss.
Then I heard sirens. Another emergency perhaps. And continued reading and was actually laughing gleefully at all those hilarious anecdotes.
Today, I read that the exploded tyres were actually gun shots. And a youth robber was killed. In any other events, this would be just another crime news in the papers. But this time, this news is not news. It was an incident two streets behind our home. And the one attacked is a neighbour. This is getting a tad freaky.
And I am supposed to be living in a very safe neighbourhood.
Some last kopek greetings…
On the eve of the much awaited driving exam, the husband gave me the key to the manual little Kelisa we borrowed and told me to drive around the neighbourhood and to show him how prepared I was for the exam.
5 min later, he told me if he was the assigned tester, he would fail me immediately. Changing gear was not properly done, didn’t check the car properly, no checking of blindspots, panicked when a car was driving up behind me and started pressing everything at one go and all the works. He asked me if my instructor gave me a checklist what to do for the exam? I told him I was given none. He got angry part 1. He asked me why I didn’t check the blindspot while driving? I told him ‘Huh? must check blindspot? I never do that and instructor never corrected me…’ He got angry part 2. He asked how many parking lesson I went through? ‘One only..’ He got angry part 3.
To cut the story short, he told me, don’t go for the exam. “You are not ready”. And he went to the driving school himself the next morning to tell the instructor off, for sending a student who was obviously not ready for exam, to the exam. The typical mat my instructor was, shrugged and gave the nonchalant reply of ‘ She finished her package whaaat. Finish package go for exam lah!’
It made the husband really pissed. And I didn’t sit for the exam. And the mat has to book for me another exam date. And the husband found the answer to this forever bewildering answer as to why there are too many bad drivers in Malaysia.
1. Complete basic package, go for exam 2. If pass good, continue driving with the bad habits which we learnt from the instructor (my instructor didn’t put on the seatbelt when picking me up and driving to the practice place, nor did he wear the seatbelt when sending me home, sms and used the handphone while driving etc) 3. And if desperate enough for a driving ‘lesen’, there are testers who would actually accept under the table money : read: rasuah to let you buy a ‘lesen’.
When a person with a phobia of driving almost as a birth right, was asked to drive in Kuala Lumpur’s after office hours peak traffic, in the heavy rain and in the midst of lorries and school buses.
Extreme stomach crunching which produced the intense urgency to fart, but suppressed for fear of killing the driving instructor, which in turn manifested in the urgency to poo, pee and puke all at the same time. All along driving in the heavy rain, in the midst of heavy traffic and alongside big lorries.
Post stress coping mechanism: Fever
Date of the dreaded: Monday 19th September 2011
Current anxiety level : 12.5 /10