I call her twice or three times a day. And yet I still cannot shake off the utter guilt that haunts me to no ends. That I am here and not there. That I am not the one by the hospital bed daily but the others are. That I can do just that 2 or 3 times phone calls a day to her ward and nothing else. Nothing else… save maybe for prayers here and there.
Am I useless or what?
Damn it. Oh damn it.