We arrived late last night, at around 11.30pm. Too late to go to the hospital as the visiting hours were over so bapak took us for a late night supper at Simpang Bedok instead. For my fix of mushroom cheese prata+ice milo dinosaur. Now they even add lychee to it. Swell. But I still was not at peace. Not until I see her.
This morning, as early as 8.30 am, we were there. We were denied entrance. The doctors were doing their rounds. Actually the student doctors were doing their observation rounds and we were not allowed into the wards. I was getting impatient. I wanted to see her badly. So we waited. I expressed my annoyance at a nurse who kept denying my entrance into the ward, telling her that I just arrived and I really wanted to see my mother and I was not amused with the 1 hour wait. She knew I was already very pissed, so she negotiated with the doctors to let the husband and I in. The doctors told us to wait for another half an hour. We only got to see her at 10.30 am.
When I saw her leg, big like that and red blotches of skin puffed up and swollen ankles, and her looking so weak and pale, I wanted to both cry and vomit. The leg was so ugly it was unbeliavable how it could have turned like that within 48 hours. I was told that today, it shas ubsided a bit and I do really wonder what it looked like when it was worse. I took a pic of it, but contemplated whether or not posting it here would be appropiate.
When I spoke to her while I was still in KL, she said that one doctor attributed it to blood infection. Then later one more doctor attributed it to allergy to medicine. Then today, while we were waiting, one other opinion was that it was an insect bite which she is allergic too. So many hypothesis, but none of them could give a straight answer to what actually caused her condition. And she was getting restless. It is after all lebaran and she wants to be home. Cause we, (especially me)– are home. And she is obviously in pain. She cannot stand but she is tired of sitting and lying down, the leg was exceptionally heavy for her and she feels helpless. Something someone gung ho like her cannot stand the thought of. However, we have so much to be thankful for that she is not diabetic. They checked for diabetic so many times and it was negative and that is the most important thing now. Had she been diabetic, it would have been a totally different story, and I won’t be even able to hold my head up, let alone blog.
We were at the hospital 3 times today, in the morning and then in the evening. And then again after dinner till around 11 pm just now. All the times my heart wrenched for my helplessness, and looking at her helpless like that, but really, what can I do but just pray and hope?