Mind your English

Colin Firth was Mr Darcy in both Pride and Prejudice and Bridget Jones Diary, who charmed, in that endearing stuffy English way. Not the ‘genre’ (of men) who would appeal to me as a partner, but his English-ness suits him and the Darcy character in which he is able to fit in like his second skin made him all the more attractive (in that role).

I watched Firth again in King’s Speech and for the lack of better word, he was adorable as the King who had speech impediment and had to go through therapy sessions for it. The descendant of Richard III, whose ‘winter of discontent made glorious by this summer son of York‘ controlled two years of my college life, Firth filled in this role as amazingly as he did with Darcy.

All my literature teachers for both O and A levels were British men, and probably because of them I have an innate repulsion for their breed. Mr C was an awesome teacher but he didn’t take morning showers and wore different colored socks to work. Sometimes we could see his boxers peeking from the back oh his pants and sometimes they were the same color as the day before. And don’t get me started on his BO. In my family’s language he epitomized ‘kemproh‘ so on attractiveness scale, he was a 2 (out of 10). Mr B was an old man. He started us with Richard III. But he came to work on Mondays reeking of alcohol and sometimes displayed suspicious dementia-like symptoms. He didn’t seem to notice that most of the time in his class I was either asleep or doing homework for other subjects. The last of the lot, Mr R was an egoistic tyrant. He screamed as he pleased, made dark Brit jokes which none of us understood and barked at Malay boys in the college who skipped Friday prayers when he didn’t see them heading for the mosque along with him. He’s blond and couldn’t take our blond jokes and when he was trying too hard to be funny, he was lame. What all of them did well was to pass me well for my literature papers and for that I was grateful.

Now, if only a Firth was one of those who taught me back then, perhaps I could see beyond English stuffiness and enjoy my classes back then better.


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