I hope by tonight I can go back to perform the terawih, which I have been missing for 5 nights due to biological reasons. It is not a nice feeling to spend the nights of Ramadan alone at home, while everyone seems to be in a blissful gathering full of angels above, prostrating and invoking HIS name in a sea of divine love.
This Ramadan, the word ‘permeating‘ comes to mind. I came to notice that on our own, just the two of us, we were able to block out the permeating process (of all things unnecessary) from coming in and affecting our Ramadan and the coming Eid celebrations. It would be too easy for the permeation process to happen say, had Ramadan been celebrated perhaps in my hometown. Permeation process would render it difficult for me to say no to the various iftar gatherings outside (which, due to permeating process, I would surely would want to go!), a walk down to bazaar Geylang, the overflowing of food from the neighbors and from my overindulging mother.
Eid wouldn’t be spared either. Permeation process would actually dictate that the curtains/cushions/and everything else visible to the visitor’s eyes be changed for something new. And just one set of new Eid clothings would not be enough. It would even be ghastly in my mother’s eyes (apa? satu jer baju kurung untuk raya ni?!!) and an endless table spread of raya cookies which could put Joseph and his Technicolor dreamcoat to shame.
But thanks to being on our own, where we carefully make the effort to block out this permeating process from getting into us,we managed to cut down on many unnecessaries. No cooking for iftar, just eat at the mosque, whatever they serve– even though it’s nothing much. That’s minus the wastage of food and the effort in preparing them. The husband sahur with simple things which didn’t take long to prepare. I don’t drive so I don’t fancy taking a cab to any bazaar Ramadans so I spend my time mostly at my home-office, tutoring/working/sleeping/reading.
There is no pressure about giving the house a make-over either. It is a rental, and most of our closest friends here are like-minded, and also living in rentals hence absolutely comfortable with our’ temporary existence here so we cannot be bothered‘ mentality. Eid clothes, we would always buy last minute, whatever nice enough we could grab.
In other words, in not allowing the permeating process gets into us, we get away with being ‘bo-chap’ with the whole physical aspect of the season, and just welcome it, as it is and perhaps as how it should be.
I could only do this while I am away. I know back home, I would welcome and readily accept this permeating process into my life with open arms, because I want it to happen– due to my own weakness of the flesh.