And then, the concept of BFF

The common jargon amongst giggly young girls these days is the BFF, acronym for Best Fried Forever. The kind they do pinkies with and gossip for hours over the phone with while pouring their hearts out when their latest crush do as much as give them a smile in the hallway.

We all do have one or a few of those along they way, don’t we? Even after those hormonal teenage years gave way to the upbeat 20s and more settled 30s etc, there are bound to be one or a few friends who would be the best lot who would be with us through thick and thin, for better or worse, through partners, spouses, kids, grandkids or even the perpetual loneliness.

In one of the tasawuf books I recently read, it says there that our our worse enemy is actually our best friend. This is because, according to the book, our enemies are the ones most honest with us about our weaknesses, without the need to take care of our feelings/egos/ sensitivity. Hence, if we take note of what our enemies say about us, and reflect upon it, we may see that many times, there may be elements of truth in it. When criticized, our egos quickly snap back and hurl defensive attacks against the criticism without allowing any reflection time and from there, quickly work on our subconscious minds to make us believe that the negative information we just received about ourselves are not true and that they are just simply being(in our terms now) b*tch*s and a**h*les.

Our worse enemies, as said in the book- are the informers to our blind spots. They see things which our egos hide from us. To which, if I may put my understanding of what I read into graphics (I’m a right brainer through and through), is that our untamed egos make us not unlike the emperor in the story The Emperor’s New Clothes. While our worse enemy, (who is actually our best friend because they crush our egos) is that child who innocently, but without any reservations, pointed out to the  narcissistic emperor during the parade that he was actually naked.


8 thoughts on “And then, the concept of BFF

  1. oh yes soo sooo true! we are always telling our kids…never trust your best friend a 100 percent…because he cld be your worst enemy. nothing worse than to be so trusting and gullible.

  2. hee.. so i just tis like what the bible says.. love thy enemy ( e one u think was e enemy because of his/her foul mouth) and then liberate thy soul.. 😛

  3. Love this entry, and absolutely agree with it. I like the parallel you’ve made to The Emperor’s New Clothes! I guess what sets a supposed BFF apart from an enemy is intent;– an enemy uses the blind spots to their advantage, or manipulates them for their own cause (even in the cases of petty name-calling), whereas a ‘true’ BFF brings to light a person’s shortcomings with the intention of either improving relationships, or simply for self-reflection on the latter’s part.

  4. hullo there,
    Nice perspective 🙂
    From my understanding, the writer of the book is trying to say regardless of intent, our supposedly friends can never be as brutally honest as our enemies… You get what he means?
    There is always the elements of ‘nak jaga hati’ or to preserve the friendship, whereas, the ‘enemy’ or rather the people whom we don’t like don’t give a hoot if we are hurt etc, hence they are more free to tell us of our misgivings, albeit in a brutal but honest manner…

  5. yeah..i agree. the true friends are the ones who can say it as it is. i dont know why, but that is why i think a lot of my closer friedns esp at work are males. they can tell things as it is.

    women can be competitive with fellow women. if the woman is an enemy, she won’t criticize directly but do it in other means..that’s my take. there’s too much emotions/envy that gets in the way sometimes when dealing with women.

    saying that, my close female friends are the ones that can laugh together with me at our shortcomings.

  6. Is,
    I agree with women being competitive with other women. Such that, even if we are telling the truth, as it is, the other women might not be able to take it thinking we are trying to put them down so we can be up– OR vice versa, where they tell us and we cannot take it.
    Probably this concept is very applicable esp to women? perhaps.. perhaps.. perhaps

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