The toughest thing

I used to think that the toughest thing to do is to learn how to cook, or bake for that matter. But I conquered that by learning formally and informally and practice, practice, practice.

I also used to think Maths was the most difficult thing to learn, but all of the major exams, I never failed, not a single one. Through blood, sweat and tears, I did it.

Then it was learning other new skills, be it aikido, or living away from my big family back  home or learning to trade or be my own boss when I started the homeschooling program etc, etc. All of them, when initially I thought would be the toughest thing to do, I aced in them after I’ve mastered them. Through sheer hard work, tears and failures and practice. And mind you, I am a very determined person. If I feel the need to master something, I would go all the way out. I am a survivor like that.

But, as ‘hard‘ as I may be, there is something I find too difficult to do and am still finding it way too difficult. That is to ‘redha’.  Redha, or the willingness to accept the things that I can’t change, or the willingness– with 100% sincerity to accept my fate and destiny which may not be what I desired despite giving my all.

So yeah, that is the toughest thing to do, I find. The only thing, I think I have not been able to master despite trying and trying and trying again.

It’s tough.

4 thoughts on “The toughest thing

  1. Yeah, agree with you. To be completely redha about something you really want but have not/cannot acheive, is extremely difficult. Sometimes I do feel that I redha, and then there are other days when I wake up and I start thinking, its not fair. This is my personal jihad. But time does heal. It did for me.

  2. I actually got these feeling after being with 2 Indonesian friends and found them to be so redha about things, well they do work hard but when it is not meant to be, they simply go oh well, never mind… unlike me who would scowl and go unfair, unfair! Kinda made me ashame of myself and hence, this entry…

  3. You can find me on:

    Just on my way out. So email me, and I will check it when I come back.

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