Dear Hang Tuah…

Dear Laksamana Hang Tuah,

How are you? I hope you are fine wherever you are. I’ve just finished my breakfast of nasi lemak with sambal tumis sotong. It was really nice. We bought it from a pakcik at a lane near our house. People always queue to buy his nasi lemak. But I do not want to write to you about my nasi lemak today. I want to write to you about your state, Melaka kota bersejarah. It is going to make another history soon, you know. Not a bloody one like during your era. But a funny one this time.

You know, Pak Laksamana, I was reading The Star newspaper before I ate my nasi lemak. Things seems pretty busy in your town of Melaka these days. Here, I cut and paste a part of the report for you. I am not sure if you would find this piece of news exciting, but somehow I get the impression that people there do.

” Bollywood superstar Shah Rukh Khan will have the honour of being the first Datukship recipient from Malacca to don the official state samping during a special investiture ceremony tomorrow.

The RM3,000 specially-made black samping is adorned with kesidang flower motif and tied in the style of the late P. Ramlee to complete the baju melayu to be worn by Shah Rukh Khan”

Pak Laksamana, just out of curiosity… what’s your comment on this (off the record definitely) ?

Oh before I sign off, Pak Laksamana, I just want to tell you that I learnt a new word today. Another local jargon to fill in my fast expanding ‘Local Jargon Bank’. My LJB I call it.

I was just chatting to my students, two girls from up north. One is awaiting her secondary school posting as she got her UPSR results earlier. The other one waiting for her National Service as she had completed her SPM a couple of months back. I asked the UPSR girl which school she applied for. She told me she applied for full boarding school. Hence I asked would she get to choose which boarding school/in which state or the ministry randomly sends them to anywhere.

The older girl who just graduated from boarding school, wisely told me… ‘ Oh if you have cable then you can choose lah. If you don’t have cable than you cannot choose lah.’

Pak Laksamana, I am blur like that. The only cable I know here is the Astro Cable and there is also cable car in my home country where we can go to Pulau Belakang Mati from the main island. Those are just the only cables I know. And so I asked them, ‘ Cable tu aper bende ah?’ Because I am pretty sure the Astro Cable and the Cable Cars have nothing to do with this girl getting her posting to her boarding school.

Cable tu orang dalam lah. Kalau kat sini nak buat apa-apa mesti ada cable. Baru boleh dapat apa kita nak’

Pak Laksamana, now that I know what cable means, just out of another curiosity. Were you ever a cable?

Regards and respectfully yours,

Hang Percicilan

2 thoughts on “Dear Hang Tuah…

  1. Hang Percicilan,

    Tahukah tuan hamba bahawa hamba telah tertawa sambil berguling-guling di atas lantai apabila membaca coretan ini?

    Yang benar,

    Hang Lobo

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